Today, our planet is miniscule to us. Two things have
contributed to this, our knowledge of the size of the universe and our planet’s
size relative to it, and the advancement of communication technology.
In earlier, more innocent, or one may argue, more ignorant times, we imagined
that this planet was immense, the entirety of the universe maybe. Now, with the internet becoming a necessity
rather than a luxury, no corner of the world is out of reach for us. The planet
lies at our fingertips.
While this has its obvious advantages, which I will not get into here, it
brings along with it certain complexities that did not previously exist to this
degree. I speak of human interaction.
A comic strip I recently read stated that “Happiness is your family staying at
least one expensive plane ride away.” The point it made was valid, almost
profound. It is too easy for everyone to reach everyone today. Distance is no
longer a barrier to contact. And so clarity in dealings with fellow
sophisticated primates becomes all the more crucial. One must know what one is
doing when maintaining a bond of any kind with one’s fellow beings.
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Social existence was conceived by man, evolutionarily, to improve his chances
of survival against nature. We may safely say he succeeded. The fact that his
survival is now threatened by these very same social contemporaries does not
take away from its success. He has managed to at least alleviate some degree of
danger from predators and natural calamities, though it will never be
completely alleviated.
Having banished that problem, the use of
relationships evolved. A study of history will reveal that the greatest benefit
mans social nature has granted us is the sharing of knowledge. We have, through
the cooperation of man with man and the magic of communication, been able to
erect monuments, philosophies, technologies and ideologies, not a single one of
which could have been created without the platform provided by the men before
us. A child in today’s world has access to information that has been in
existence and is being collected since as long back as 3000 BC. Before the age
of 25, he can acquire information that on his own would not be knowable to him
in a million lifetimes. Relationships provide one with the benefit of tackling
many different problems at the same time, or tackling the same problem in many
different ways. No two men are alike, and therefore, their method of approach
must also necessarily be different, the slightness in the degree of deviation
is irrelevant. The repeated and ruthless testing of facts by the men of science
ensure that we do not rest our research on shaky foundations. They have built
us a platform of reinforced titanium. From here the only direction we can go is
upward.
So, relationships are then to lead us to a higher form of existence. I speak of
higher forms not in the supernatural or religious sense, but in the worldly
sense. They are to help make us what we could not be on our own. That is their true
purpose.
In each friendship, there is the host (the individual) and the guest (the
friend). A friendship may occur when the will or spirit of the host comes into
contact with that of the guest. As to what form of friendship results from the
meeting, is decided by the nature of their respective wills.
The friend is here referred to as the guest because he requires admittance from
the host. In some cases the admittance is given reluctantly, but nevertheless,
a “friendship” cannot occur without the host allowing it. The host is breaching
the defenses of his self in order to allow the guest in, so that he (the host)
may experience and learn things that would not be possible on his own. However,
this pre-assumes the admittance was voluntary.
Where the host’s will is much weaker
Abusive: In some cases, the will or spirit of the guest is so
overpowering, so overwhelming, so all encompassing in comparison to the host’s
own, that the admittance is acquired by sheer force rather than by willful
consent. These circumstances, where the host has little or no force of will in
comparison to the guest’s, are the ones that give rise to all forms of abusive
friendships. The host is, in this case, a helpless pawn. The guest may do with
him as he pleases, use him as a tool and then toss him aside when he is no
longer useful. No control resides with the host, he is now a passenger. In
milder cases, the superior will remains with the inferior just so as to have a
constant reminder of his own superiority. It is a perpetual ego boost, if you
will. In more extreme cases, there is financial, mental, emotional or physical
exploitation. This only takes place when there is a massive difference in force
of wills.
Other forms of abusive friendships start off as normal friendships, with the
host consenting to admit the guest and a mutual benefit occurring. However, in
due course of time, the superiority of the one (the guests’s) becomes apparent
over the other(the host’s). The guest, becoming aware of the advantage he
possesses, begins to wield his power, testing his limits, taking it further and
further, until he has absolute control over the host.
In both forms of abusive relationships, the host is unable to break it off of
his own volition. Subconsciously, his will recognizes it is in contact with a
higher form, and it craves it and is loathe to break it off. Consciously, this
may take the form of fear, reluctance, love, procrastination, or any emotion that
will put off the thought of breaking off the friendship from his mind. In these
cases, the host remains bound to the guest by choice despite suffering abuse at
his hands.
This does not include the cases where there is actual physical intimidation from
the guests preventing the host from breaking it off.
Non Abusive: A variation of non abusive relationships that results from
this type of meeting of wills is that of the dependant host. This occurs when
an inferior host will meets a superior, non malicious guest will. The host,
consciously recognizing the superiority of the guest, feels indebted to the
guest merely for maintaining the bond. What results is the gradual
disintegration of the self esteem, morale and confidence of the host. How long
it takes for the process to be complete depends on whether the guest acts to
impede the process or help it along. But there is no way to put a stop to the
process outside of ending the relationship.
Another type, probably the best possible under the circumstances, is that of
the imitator. This occurs when the inferior host meets the non malicious,
superior guest and spends the entirety of their relationship in an attempt to
bring his inferior will up to the level of the superior. This form of
friendship is most beneficial to the host, while not so much for the guest. The
host has a living model to replicate, he may observe, study, question, practice
all the traits of the superior. He lifts his own self to a height he has never
been able to scale before. For a weaker will, this is the only form of
friendship with a stronger will that is beneficial and true to its purpose. It
is the only form that takes him upward and not downwards.
Where the host’s will is much stronger
A Hollywood movie (Revolver) famously proclaimed that, “The first rule
of any game is that you can only get smarter by playing a smarter opponent.”
Occasionally, even Hollywood happens upon the truth.
When the will of the host is stronger than the guest’s and yet the guest is let
in nonetheless, there can be many precipitating causes. However, outside of
boosting one’s self image and reinforcing one’s comfort in one’s own
superiority, no relationship of this form yields any true benefit for the host.
There may be naïve positives pointed out under the guise of phrases like, “they
teach me the beauty of simplicity” or “every man is special in his own way”,
but these are empty phrases created to pacify the hearts of those who are vain
enough to believe them. One who believes there to be truth in these phrases
would also soon believe that Marxism does actually create a classless,
sustainable society and environment for the world to live in. And once you have
gone down that path, you are lost to logic.
The truth is, when allowing a weaker willed guest, you are diluting your
energies. This form of friendship mainly takes place in two scenarios.
The Egotist Friend: This host does not wish to climb higher. His purpose
is not elevation. His purpose is impression. He wishes to be considered elevated
and achieves his purpose through comparison. He surrounds himself with people
who are no equal of his in any way. Instead of striving to achieve a higher
existence, he strives instead to feel
higher by mingling with the minions. This may achieve the desired result as far
as he is concerned. Within his circle, he may be considered with a certain
amount of respect, admiration and maybe even awe. However, for our purposes, as
far as the true purpose of friendship is concerned, he has achieved nothing. In
the best possible outcome, he will have stagnated. In the worst outcome, he
will have degraded himself to the point where he no longer deserves the tag of
the “superior”, no matter what he is perceived to be. In short, he will have
received credit for something that he is not. And how commonly we perceive this
tragic phenomenon!
The Charitable Friend: The second scenario takes place when the host,
knowing it is stronger, better placed or higher, call it what you will,
condescends to befriend the lowly guests, not out of a feeling of self
aggrandizement, not out of egotistical ulterior motives, but out of a belief
that because it resides on a higher plane, it is somehow duty bound to help
others get to that plane as well. The age old dogma that man owes a debt to
mankind and must do everything he can to help his fellow beings even at the
cost of himself. The motives behind this form of friendship may be noble (If
they are genuine at all), however, that does not make them correct. Not in the
least. Whenever a will is concentrated downwards, whether for positive or
negative reasons, the outcome is always negative on the whole.
Yes, its condescension may have lifted a few paltry guest wills to a slightly
better plane, but the duty of the higher will resides in forging a new path, so
that the rest may follow more easily. Not in personally carrying the incapable
on one’s back and being bogged down by their crippledness. This form of
friendship is the most dangerous to the higher will and to humankind at large,
because it is regarded as nobility, humility, charitability. In short, it is
praised. And thus reinforces the downward course of the higher will.
It is worth considering that this kind of action may be so highly praised because
the mob subconsciously always strives to discourage individuals from rising
alone too far above the pack, and in this way they cover their malice and
insecurity in a cloak of admiration.
When the host is equal to the guest
Neutral wills: This is one of the most commonly found forms of
friendship amongst humankind. And unsurprisingly, it is one that does not
involve much thought. All the other forms mentioned above and that will be
mentioned below, whatever their positives or negatives, had at least this to
their credit, that they had a logical thought process behind them. Whether the
thought was conscious or subconscious, malicious or gratuitous is immaterial.
The thinking was existent and so it lent itself to some purpose. This form of
friendship, however, is a thoughtless one. Instinctual, comfortable, easy. One
could almost say natural, if only its outcome was not completely counter
natural. When a host meets a guest whose will is exactly its equal, but the
host derives no effect nor produces any upon the guest, but the both of them
merely coexist exactly as they are, that is what is known as the Neutral Will
friendship. It is an anesthetic, a zombie mode, if you will. There is no
purpose served by this except to while away time, alleviate loneliness,
distract one from the harshness of realities. Maybe have a shoulder to cry on.
One may even argue that is all one needs from friendship. But again, standing
above the narrow, naïve short termed perspective, one must recognize the error
in this thinking and guard oneself into falling into this rut. No form of
stagnation can ever be productive. And when one is not moving forward, one is
always falling behind.
Binary Star
In space, binary stars are two stars that have attached themselves to each
other through a common centre of mass. They neither collide with each other,
nor do they move apart, but are eternally bonded with each other through their
respective gravitational pulls and as a result spend eternity spiraling through
space, ever locked in an almighty embrace with each other.
I can find no better analogy to explain the last two forms of friendships, and
possibly the two most important ones.
Downward Binaries: Herein lies the most dangerous form of friendship. When
two wills of equal might collide, and the host cannot overpower the guest nor
allow itself to be overpowered, then two situations may arise. This is the
first of them, and the deadliest of all the forms. In the Downward Binary
scenario, the host and the guest attach themselves to each other, and from then
on ensues what are commonly known as mutually destructive relationships. One
complements the other perfectly, but only the negative sides. Neither will is
able to bring forth its positive side, and on the other hand, the negative
traits of both wills are reinforced. Friendships of this kind are capable of
bringing down the highest of wills, and in each case it results in a double
tragedy, because not one, but two will spiral down to their annihilation in
unison. They each find justification for their actions in the support of the
other, and they in turn dispel any doubts that the other may have about the
course their lives are taking. They walk hand in hand and willfully traipse
towards oblivion, and barring divine intervention, very few forced on earth can
stop them.
Upward Binaries: Herein lies the treasure, the arkenstone of
friendships. This form is rare, one is lucky if one encounters it even once in
a lifetime. Multiple occurrences are almost unheard of. An Upward Binary is a
friendship that results when the host admits a guest of equal might, and the
two lock themselves in the binary girp. However their spiral goes not down, but
up. From the beginning to the very end, this form of friendship serves no
purpose but to spur both host and guest on to immeasurable heights. Neither will
would be capable of scaling half as high on its own, however every time one
falters, the other is there to spur him on, and so on and so forth to eternity.
The binary stars may be dissimilar or identical, complementary or clone like,
the medium of elevation differs. However, what does not differ is the result.
The result leaves both spellbound. And very often leaves something behind them
that holds the whole world enthralled. Separating the two is just as improbable
as in the case of the Downward Binaries. And truly, to take the analogy
further, the binary system is only broken when the stars perish. And usually,
when one persishes, the other is not long behind. This bond is more sacred than
love, than honor, than loyalty, even dignity. This bond is the only one that
succeeds completely in achieving what is, in the end, the true purpose of
friendship.
